falling leaves.

it's been so, so long since i posted on here. either i've thought about posting and have simply forgotten, or i've had other things on my mind. bit of a mix of the two.

so, what's life been like for me? rather brilliant. last week i finished semester one of 2011. it's great to have accomplished that, as i'm almost officially halfway through my course. i really enjoyed the subjects i took, though literary theory was insanely difficult to comprehend at times. but i had so much fun and learnt a lot.

so next week is stuvac, and i'm setting in for some study. holidays go for about a month, and it will be nice to relax for a while.

my health has been good. i've almost finished my prescription of iron supplements, and need to go back for a blood test to see if there's been any improvement. i haven't donated blood since january, and want to get back into it again. i've been feeling more tired than usual, but perhaps that's because i've been having late nights. :)

some slightly bigger news - in a few weeks i'm going to see a cosmetic surgeon to discuss my options regarding more surgery on my face. i'm not resigned as to whether i will actually do anything, but i would like some advice. moebius isn't causing me any significant problems - it never really has - but i'd like to know what choices i have. part of me does wish from time to time that i'd never had the surgery to begin with as i don't see that it was necessary. perhaps i would have been able to cope. i was pretty young when i had the muscle graft, and i don't remember making the choice. though, if i'd never had the surgery i doubt i would be able to do the things i can now.
in the end though, i think it all matters how i feel about myself. i don't really see it as about what others think so much anymore...perhaps that sounds a little selfish...not too sure... :/ in the end, it's my life and my face. i'm the one who has to live with it, so it needs to be my choice. sometimes i do still feel bad about the way i look, but in general moebius syndrome is the least of my worries (despite what people think). it makes me who i am.
i'm a little nervous (or rather apprehensive) regarding seeing the doctor. i'm not seeing my usual surgeon, and i feel a little 'iffy' about that. though i'm excited to hear what he will say and to know whether anything can be done for my eye and my mouth. i haven't done anything like this for quite a few years, so it's a rather big step for me and i'm looking forward to it.

i'm also saving up to go to america next year for the moebius syndrome foundation conference. i'm thinking about giving a presentation too, but not sure yet whether i'm even going. it's going to be quite a bit of money. but i'm really, really hoping to go.

i'm going to try and post more regularly. smile! :)